ForeverWandering.com

It has taken me quite a while to put the thoughts and emotions from the past month into words.  And, as you can tell from the title (for all 2 of you who might read this), I don’t think I can do this in just one post.

One month ago today my job ended at The Barton Center.  For three-and-a-half years as the Camp Joslin Director, and two with all the camps, it was my home.  Both literally and figuratively.  Working there one minute, and not the next was a very confusing, emotional parting at first…which then downgraded into just plain emotional.  And while the rational part of me has now accepted that (and believes it to be the best thing for me), there are still those occasional “please leave me alone” emotional spots.  I’ve crossed through that event horizon from one world into another (imagine the “Stargate” television series, walking through the gate…or rather being pushed through it).  As the website title (not to mention the post title) implies, I have often thought of myself as a wanderer with a purpose.  I usually have a pretty good sense of direction.  And only at a few times now do I find myself thinking I’m lost…wandering aimlessly…instead of wandering with a goal in mind.

As I was thinking tonight about the past month I took a look at my blog post from March 20, 2005, when I left my hospital lab job and my home camp, Camp Seale Harris, in Alabama.  While I wasn’t at Camp Joslin, Clara Barton Camp, or the Day Camps for 15 years like I was at CSH, they have all been homes for me.  They have all allowed me to actually enjoy my work for the majority of the time, which is more than some people can say about their careers/jobs.  They all allowed diabetes to be a part of my work, and not just a part of who I was at that time.

I quote from my blog post in 2005 — “Because of it [my diabetes] and His grace, I am able to provide an environment where my wife and soon-to-be-son will, along with myself, grow spiritually as well as professionally.”  And you know what?  I believe that all of that happened.  I even got a daughter out of it, as well. 

So…another era of my life has ended.  As with the last one, it is scary.  But when I’m not in one of my now-occasional emotional points, I am excited about the unknown next step.  I (now) truly hope that I will still be in diabetes camping but that is up to God’s guidance and my perserverance and patience.

I’d be foolish and a liar if I told you that I wasn’t also thinking about the people that I have been blessed and honored to meet over the last five plus years through these camps.  I’ve shared quite a few laughs, tears and serious moments with quite a few people.  But I think I’ll save that for another evening’s post…

So until then, good night all.  I think I may have rambled enough for tonight…Happy Thanksgiving!

So I’ve been having a problem lately getting up in the morning.  It’s a typical problem of many people, I’m guessing, but it doesn’t make it any less of a problem for me.  You see, when it is not summertime, I have a little issue with exercise.  And what I mean by “little” is that I don’t get any exercise.

So Sarah and I had been doing fairly well at getting up four or five times a week…for two weeks running…and doing exercise.  And then it dropped to nil.  Part of that can be helped by going to bed earlier (which I’m not helping now by staying up to type this, but…) is just pure ol’ motivation.

…and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.  If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.” — 1 Chronicles 28:9

So if something as serious as serving Him is supposed to be done with wholehearted devotion — because I want to do it, not because I have to do it – wouldn’t something that I have to do for personal health be much easier if I applied my energy to it?  While it may be a leap for some, this is something that is (now) a no-brainer for me.  Not that it will make the first days any easier, but having a purpose and reasoning always helps.

And besides, those days that I do sleep in will now be all that more special!

As it has been well over a year since my last post, and I’ve come to realize that I haven’t been spending the time I needed…no, I haven’t been spending any time finding Him outside of my own mind.  Which means — at least to me — that I haven’t been thinking very much.

 The last year and a half has brought quite a few blessings — a new daughter, a continued healthy family, better personal health, and a promotion, to name a few — and I haven’t exactly done anything to thank Him for it in a meaningful, lasting way.

So the word that came to mind to research was thought.  I thought this fitting as I feel I’m starting to actually do this again.  Thought, according to Dictionary.com, has some of the following (interesting) meanings:

1. mental activity
2. a consideration or reflection
3. intention, design, or purpose

These are interesting because if I haven’t been thinking for the past year (or more — and I truly don’t think that I have), then not only have I not reflected on happenings in my life, but I have also had no mental activity, no purpose.  This troubles me, to say the least!

The Bible, in Proverbs 14:15, says, “A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.“  In Chapter 21, Verse 29 of the same book, “A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives thought to his ways.“  So by not thinking, not only am I a simple person who doesn’t work towards following Him, I’m setting myself up for wickedness.  Not the path I’m choosing, m’friends.

1 Corinthians 13:11 reads “When I was a child, I talked like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.“  So, yet again, it is time for me to grow up and think.